Our Lady of Mercy, Whippany, NJ
January 15, 2003
Attendance:  Approximately 200

In a graciously worded presentation, Father John DeMattia, pastor of Our Lady of Mercy, extended a warm welcome to Voice of the Faithful of Northern New Jersey, after which Cody Dalton led an opening meditation and petitions with responsorial prayer.

Ann Zouvelekis introduced the meeting agenda with a reminder that VOTF website is available for further questions: www.votfnnj.org

Maria Cleary announced the following: VOTF members can be identified by special ribbons worn on clothing.  There is a real need for donations.  VOTF identity buttons are available for those in a position to call attention to VOTF.   VOTF has requested and received the past 10 years' audited financial statements from the Paterson Diocese.*

Cleary next presented Rev. John Bambrick, pastor, St. Thomas More Church, Manalapan, NJ, as speaker of the evening.

Fr. John Bambrick introduced his topic of Fear, Faith, and Fidelity by relating his personal experience of abuse as a 15-year old to Dante's Inferno.

In the midway of this our mortal life,
I found me in a gloomy wood, astray.
Gone from the path direct: and e'en to tell,
It were no easy task, how savage wild
That forest, how robust and rough its growth

Following the death of a beloved mentor-priest, the young John transferred his idealistic respect to Rev. Anthony Eremito whom he met while the priest performed a wedding at John's parish.  Eremito, pastor of St. Margaret's in Riverdale, began a normal relationship with the young man, by regarding him as a "buddy" and calling upon his family three times weekly.  Bambrick refers to this period as "grooming."

The first change came about when Bambrick attended a movie together with Father Eremito.  During the course of the movie, Eremito held John's hand for 2 hours.  In shame and confusion, John rushed from the theater but was unable to call his parents because he had no money.  At this, Eremito told him not to be uncomfortable, everything was fine.  Hand-holding then progressed to other activities.  To cope with the abuse, Bambrick recalls his mind went other places.  He refers to this as "dissociation" and a hellish torment of 6 months followed.

As the media conveys reality to the issue of abuse, survivors are encouraged to come forward.  Bambrick believes study and contact with other survivors are necessary for healing.

Fr. John Bambrick describes perpetrators of abuse as charming, seductive and in a position to be trusted.  "They are psychopathic," he continues.  "They are never cured and the desire never fades.  There is no shame or guilt on the part of the abuser and he is only sorrowful if he is caught."

Bambrick concludes by insisting that priest-abusers must never be restored to the priesthood because children will always be their targets.  "Our faith and our church are attractive to them, but they must never return to ruin lives and families.  Although much damage has been done, hope, faith and courage can bring about restoration."

Following a lengthy standing ovation for Fr. Bambrick, Maria Cleary initiated the question and answer period.  Questions related to efficiency of review boards; changes that need to be made; how canon lawyers might affect such changes; a greater role for women in the church; how to encourage a healthy seminary environment and how to support good priests.

Fifteen-minute break-away sessions for victim/survivor support, clergy support, structural change, prayerful voice, education, communications, and finance committees concluded the evening's business agenda.

End of meeting announcements by Cody Dalton: the next meeting is scheduled for February 20 with Deal Hudson, editor of Crisis magazine, as speaker.  A meeting of the Child Abuse Prevention Committee is scheduled for January 26 at Lebanon, NJ after the St. Luke 11:15 mass.  For information, contact Shirley Slusher (908)832-7383.  And a Prayer Gathering is scheduled for February 1 from 3:30 to 4:30 at Our Lady of Mercy Chapel, Whippany.  All are invited.

Fr. John Bambrick closed the meeting with a prayer.

(The VOTF/NNJ meeting minutes released on Jan. 18, 2003, contained an error which may have mislead the reader.  *This sentence has been corrected to accurately reflect the facts.  We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.  Further, it should be noted that, according to Marianna Thompson, Director of  Communications for the Diocese of Paterson, "Every year the financial statement is printed for all the world to see in the Beacon, the newspaper of the Paterson Diocese.  Furthermore, the detailed version is always offered to the public free for the asking.  Information on how to receive a copy is printed in that very issue of the Beacon.  Any member of the public has always been free to study the statement and offer feedback or questions.  This was not an exclusive submission to VOTFNNJ.  Nor is it a special achievement for a single organization.")

Respectfully submitted:  Shirley Slusher